2003-10-17 - 3:41 p.m.
I have not spoken today except to tell chris the phone was for her and wake her up earlier, cause she left a note telling me to. all short, functional utterances. and as I sit here now I can imagine a life without speaking, a life of letting the world spill into me through my senses and devouring the simple deliciousness of light without altering it. words alter the world. we use them to control and shape it.
of course this is idle fantasy, I would never give up my words. I love the interplay, the games, the arguments and accidental pockets of truth we can discover when we speak to each other. but just now the silence is like a magnifying glass and I feel the world is more full of colors and sounds the less I speak. even the sensations within my body seem to grow and flower in this silence. empty mind, full mind.
