2003-12-29 - 11:58 a.m.
Dan says:
I don't really want to go to sleep!!!
EVER!!!!
Erin says:
i know man.
Erin says:
i will never sleep again.
Erin says:
i'll never even close my eyes.
Dan says:
you'll need some special magic contact lenses that keep your eyes from drying out
Dan says:
and intravenous dream dispensation
Erin says:
yes
Dan says:
and probably some nice boots
Erin says:
yes i suppose i will
Dan says:
I'll need the keys to every lock in a small town somewhere in europe
but to not be told which town
and I'll need a couple of pet badgers
and some soap
Erin says:
AND A SNOW MOBILE!
Dan says:
with built in bubble maker and smoke machine. I won't need the contacts cause I can still close my eyes
Erin says:
yes, and you'll need a few geese with snorkles.
Dan says:
but I'll probably need the intravenous dream administrated by some cackling goldfish
Erin says:
so you're going to need a blow up swimming pool then.
Dan says:
at least one.
to match your swingset.
Erin says:
right, so it will have to be purple and made of tiny shells then
Dan says:
oh yes
and we'll put it near the very very large pile of aluminum pancakes
Erin says:
right, so that it gets sufficient reflected sunbeams.
we'll also have to build a small pen for the pigs.
Dan says:
in a discreet location so as not to detract from the overall effect of the elevator plantation
and the miniature pink blimps
Erin says:
right, and we'll have to wear costumes too. so that the bookmen don't recognize us.
Dan says:
but we'll have those secret hand gestures so we can be identified by the chancellor of librarians
Erin says:
right, that makes sense. and we'll need a giant camel so that we can move all our supplies.
Dan says:
from the pig pen to the elevators when needed,
Erin says:
and the pools
and the pancakes
and the geese
Dan says:
since the snowmobile can only carry roughly 1/16th of our anteater allotment
Erin says:
exactly. we'll have the snowmobile in case we need to make a quick move.
Dan says:
we'll have to polish all the ants
Erin says:
yes, so that they shine.
and we'll have to make sure they get enough water.
Dan says:
and make a lifesize model of winston churchill out of bow ties
Erin says:
that's really important. we can't forget to do that. plus, once we have everything all set up, we'll need to build sand castles.
Dan says:
It'll take most of the time just hollowing out the inside of the wind
so it doesn't knock over our sandcastles or the outer space flowers
Erin says:
that's true. and we'll have to paint the sky purple just before noon so that we can successfully capture the hidden snakes in the garden.
Dan says:
we won't have to worry about the forks
Erin says:
no, the forks speak for themselves.
Dan says:
first things first, though:
lets make some sandwiches for those flying jellyfish!
Erin says:
yes! they're probably starving from the long journey to the north pole.
Dan says:
I've already spent all morning tying sparks together with molehair.
and I still haven't caught a single refrigerator!
it's shiny in here!
Erin says:
i know, it's too shiny to concentrate!
Dan says:
where'd the mollusks go with all the synaesthetic lunchboxes?
Erin says:
i think they quit because we weren't paying them enough.
Dan says:
I forgot how to talk to the monkeys for a while
Erin says:
oh no! we need to find out about the apple cores from the monkeys!!!!
Dan says:
till they paid me with pillows full of silversmoke
that sure was a relief!
Erin says:
yeah!!! so they told you about the apple cores?
Dan says:
I think so
Erin says:
you THINK so?
this is essential information
Dan says:
but I was pretty busy throwing all the phone booths off the boat
Erin says:
did you at least remember to drown the caterpillars?
Dan says:
you'll have to get the magnifying wineglass and look at my brain again
Erin says:
not again!!
Dan says:
caterpillars drowned in thimbles of whiskey, as per instructions.
and I fed the confusing yaks again
Erin says:
well, i mowed the lawn and scraped the gum out from under the tables of every classroom in the world.
so that's done at least.
Dan says:
thank god for that!!!
wheres all the yellowyarn?
Erin says:
the birds flew away with some of it. but i manages to hide most of it in the barn.
Dan says:
near the half antelopes?
Erin says:
yes
Dan says:
we should hurry, we have lots of stars to turn over before the moon is done building its nest!
Erin says:
and those stars are so heavy!
plus they keep disappearing.
Dan says:
I know! and all those winded brigadier generals just aren't cutting the mustard!
Erin says:
they need to cut to the chase more often.
Dan says:
makes me wonder why I let the snakes make pudding!
Erin says:
i know! i think you're too slack with those snakes.
you have a soft spot for them but its no excuse!
Dan says:
yes but I'm also very strict with the sphinx!
Erin says:
so am i.
Dan says:
and I did tune the tromboneophone!
Erin says:
that's good. did you program the electrotransmitter?
Dan says:
yes. I set it to self destruct at the first sign of unrest among the wildebeest.
Erin says:
good, good. and what about the shoelaces?? did you untie all the shoelaces?
Dan says:
I untied the shoelaces.. but I was running a little late because I thought it would be a good idea to hide the microfilm in a jar of pickles at the bottom of the atlantic ocean first.
you can't be too careful, I always say.
oh, and I finished carpeting norway.
Erin says:
thank god!
did the hobgoblins give you any trouble when you were going into the ocean?
Dan says:
hobgoblins? what hobgoblins?
Erin says:
you dont know about the hobgoblins!!!
Dan says:
were there supposed to be hobgoblins?
Erin says:
the hobgoblins are the single most dangerous creatures in the world. they eat YUTUCKS!
and the guard the ocean floor.
Dan says:
HOLY SAGAMAP!!!
I didn't see any!!!
WAIT.....
did you remember to give all the giraffes a quarter turn?
Erin says:
i gave most of them a quarter turn but there were three that i couldn't get to because i had to battle the pigeon parade!
Dan says:
hmmm...
well maybe that explains the absence of hobgoblins...
Erin says:
you're right! maybe it does!
Dan says:
will that stop the dolphins from tinning all those pomegranates?
Erin says:
it just might!!! and then, that will prevent the starfish from having a bbq, and boy, will they be upset. it's all my fault!
Dan says:
no, no.. it'll be ok...
I thought this might happen so I had all the salamanders sent to baltimore...
c/o lucretius bongswiller!!
Erin says:
oh good!!! you're so efficient.
Dan says:
and I wrote RE: hobgoblins on the envelope.
now if only I could remember why....
my desk was made of tacos at the time so I wasn't able to concentrate for more than a few boll weevils at a time...
the boll weevils, by the way, were excellent. thank you.
