2004-01-03 - 1:56 p.m.
it started off as we were sitting at some kind of cafe counter drinking coffee, looking at papers...
she had these shifting colored lights coming out of her, sort of enveloping her.. coming out from her head and the middle of her chest at strange angles...
I couldn't be sure If I was really seeing them.. they were only there out of the corner of my eye... i thought "how beautiful!!"
then she started telling me she had been making movies, and asked if I would like to see them
I said sure, and she handed me what looked like a discman, only boxier and shiny black
I put on the headphones and somehow the sounds I heard made me see this movie-thing
it was like an expansion and elaboration of the colors that were coming from her.. (which I forgot to mention were mostly orange and green... flowing in and out of pure white in crystallizing swirl patterns)
but these lights in the movie took on the shape of these amazing creatures!
they had the same colors on their skin and were like women... only more so... they were about 7 feet tall and just unbelievably beautiful and powerful... like sirens...
and they moved slowly and the movie was just images of them, their beauty, moving slow slow slow with slow beautiful music. it was incredibly powerful somehow, made me feel an almost overwhelming sense of longing.
then we went and walked across the cafe and sat down on some rocks on the bank of a river, where a few of our friends were.
she was still making the colors, and wearing the movie headphones. she seemed somehow distant from the rest of us.
there were creatures in the water, similar to the ones in the movie, but different.. lower, bluer.
we hung out there for a while, with a feeling we were in some sort of afterlife that never needed to end
and then she kissed me
and told me that she was losing her hearing
that was what the colors were, her sound leaking out!
and she made the movies to bring it back, the pictures in the movies poured the sound back into her.
but it wasn't fast enough!! she was still losing her hearing!!!
I was extremely troubled by this and started devoting all my effort to trying to find why she was losing her hearing.
I went and sat by myself for a long time, the colors coming from her that had made me so happy now making me sad
I talked to the creatures in the water,
I asked our friends,
I tried everything I could think of, asking birds, sticks, rocks.
finally I looked at her, into the centre of the colors, and saw the split, the crack where the sound was turning into color and leaking out.
I don't remember exactly how it ended but the last two images I recall are her smiling and me falling into the black core of the lights.
