2006-08-13 - 6:20 a.m.
PROCESS SERVER USA
Choices:
1. totally fucking lose it.
eat some sun ships chips
dip cold pizza
watch something
chose not to
and that pizza is cold
emotionally
obsolete unstable
the night before all week
and a half of not sleeping
much darker than a
syllable could make it seem
lacking optional equipment
the sharp sharks had soft pink teeth
I argued with the bed and then the
floor and the couch and all of us
had too much to say about
totally fucking losing it without
having the balls to actually do it.
2. read the phonebook
a headache turned republican on me
like some smell of catfood
could do that on a patch of
sidewalk somewhere come on man
fucking dandelions
but no, the option is more like
encased in jello that’s a sarcastic
answer from a guy like you
just give me the aspirin
and I’ll see you at the polls.
3. watch something
this is always an enviable task
eviction of the clearer thinking was
somewhat of a surgical failure
mouth eye mountain slurring
the carpet in a multitude of
narrative devices
but man unless you’ve already
seen it why watch it
in the first second
or third place
and learn how to read that way?
not even a celibate stud horse
would house the hoarse
whorehouse with his crafty biceps
in that kind of a sling, wingtip
airbags and the crippling
armor of sarcasm jutting out
everywhere.
4. eat some sun ships chips
dip cold pizza
the constant worsening of this
one makes it of course popular
votes mostly coming from
districts in which the products
are manufactured and eating
is more sexual for some
than sex at least in a bed
like the one I’m not in
tonight tonsils are tasteless
and smashing the state
but anyway who cares
when you can be dull
and still cut your fingers
on some broken glass in the park
where the physical distance
better matches the emotional
at least for a second or two right
after you vomit.
5. try sleeping again
failure has made anxiety
huge like the swollen elbow
of a pitcher whose lost his curveball
you’d better not
just let it rest
but rest is exactly what it won’t talk
to the pitching coach about, his
crematorium manners in a southern style
will death ever answer
when they see you in the store
or wherever else it is you can’t
avoid going that day
will they look into your moviescreen eyes
and see you haven’t dreamt since
totally fucking losing it?
